I wake up at a camp not too far from the hag's. Vondal and Vandederp must have carried me. I thank them, and thank Vandederp especially for taking the wager for me. I revisit what the hag pulled into my brain. It's a memory from my time at Im.
I am walking down a long hall; beside me are Brother Kuw and Sister Quill. We are all initiates and walking in silence. We glance nervously at each other. Torches brightly light the scene, yet something... is dark. A sense of dread fills me.
I want to stop walking forward, to stop myself, but I know this has already happened. Each step forward makes me uneasier, and more anxious. Kuw and Quill do not appear to be worried.
I pass through an opening, and I see Elder Dal, and an Elder I do not recognize, and yet... There's something familiar about her. The Stranger looks us over and ends on me. There's a strange look on her weathered face - part quizzical, part intrigued, part fearful.
"Initiates!" intones Elder Dal, "you have progressed well in your training. You are ready for the next step. Come sit, and Elder Maln will explain the next stage of your training."
Elder Maln comes forward and with a thin voice states "you know that we here at Im have been taught to channel our Ki into elemental forces, correct?" Seeing our nods, she continues "this knowledge does not come freely. There is a cost, and you will be asked to pay it."
We grow alarmed, looking at each other, and Quill starts to rise. Elder Maln puts out her hand. "Hold little one, and listen. This must be paid of your own will, and cannot be forced. Without it, you cannot bind your Ki to the elements. You must Unbind your Ki from the heavens, in order to bind it to material. Come, who will be first? This is what all your training has led to" and Elder Maln lifts up a red crystal bowl. She passes the wide cup to Elder Dal, who takes four vials and pours them in: what looks like white dirt; a thick, but clear, water; a heavy smoke; fire that flows like liquid. He mixes them, and a vapour starts to rise from the concoction. Elder Maln takes it back, and presents it to us. "Lean over and breathe deeply. Then push and extend your Ki into the bowl."
Brother Kuw takes the cup and breathes the vapour, exhales, long and slow. A glowing orange smoke languidly comes out of his eyes, nose and mouth, to settle in the cup. The smoke brightens, and changes to pearly opaleacent white. "Take your Ki back now, Brother!" and Brother Kuw drinks deeply of the draught. His expression turns to one of elation.
It is the same for Sister Quill.
When Elder Maln brings me the cup, she seems hesistant, almost curious. The instant I breathe in the smoke, everything dims, time slows. I can feel my Ki, touching the world, the universe, and extending outward. I feel ripping, deep inside. Something... is not quite right, but not quite wrong. Like a hunger pang. I feel my essence push forwards, and bright red smoke exits to collect in the cup.
I feel empty. My connection to the world is no longer in me! This is terrifying! I feel blind, deaf; I'm cut off from something, something I didn't know I had!
Elders Dal and Maln exchange a look of confusion, but proceed. The ritual is invoked and my Ki turns dark, oily, green. They exchange another look, and Elder Maln, voice quivering, tells me "take your... Ki back now Sister Tsao!"
My hands shake as I take the bowl. I'm desperate to reclaim this... but... Why is it green? Why not white? Why the looks?
I drink. Deeply. Greedily. I am parched, and this will quench the despairing lack.
My entire being BURNS. But... it's a fulfilling burn. It's powerful. My senses snap back into sharp relief and I can FEEL again. Feel the dirt beneath me. The water below that. The fire of the torches. The movement of the air. I feel it... All?
No. Wait. There is something... NOT there. There is something missing. Something that was beautiful and is not there anymore. I can't say what it is - I don't remember. If I even knew! But it's a gap. And it's growing. A yawning void is spreading out, within me.
Blackness overcomes me and I fall.
I am left with a sense of dread. Of fear. Of despair and regret. I share with the others what Vandederp's wager won me, and why I must be concerned about it.
We continue on, and go back to the tree for the night.
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