I spoke with the cleric of Oghma today. I asked a little of Asmodeus, to see if any of their known history included him. It did, but nothing new. Ah well, couldn't hurt to try.
I also spoke to him about how I suspected that I could not see the gods, like they were blocked from me. I explained why I thought this, speaking of when I did see Vorest speak to her gods messenger, and after we had done the quest that she had been given, how everybody in our party seemed like they were speaking to someone. But I have no idea who. And that they spoke of a feeling, and it was strange because all the animals came back even though you couldn't drag them even near there before hand. But it didn't feel any different to me.
I also spoke of how I felt this was wrong with my elders at my monastery, and how they said that they didn't believe that the gods could manifest or interact with people. Because even when people said they could see the divinity, they couldn't.
The cleric asks to re-see the memory from when we planted the tree and I think that Vorest's god came to her. I allow this, and he agrees that it does seem like there was something going on there. It's possible that he would like to see one of my companions view of that day. I tell him that would be possible, but it would need to be the next day.
I mention that if it could be healed, I would truly appreciate that. I don't like going around knowing that I am partially blind.
He thinks about this for a minute, and then asks if he can look around a little closer. Possibly, if he can find a reason for this missing part, he can help. Of course, I agree. I also tell him about the initiation that we undergo, and how I nearly went mad, believing that I had lost something.
He pokes around a little bit and then says that he thinks he found the blockage. He says he thinks he can do a spell to get rid of it. I agree, and he casts a spell over me. It feels like I am getting filled up again, that this missing bit isn't missing anymore. I'm not sure that it's ALL healed, but it is so much better!
I thank him, and wonder if there is a way that I can test whether I can see the gods. I suspect no, they come when they wish, not when someone wants to try something - especially if it's just viewing them.
I do go to a fairly isolated place and test out how my connection with the elements work. It feels a little different, but I can still call wind - I needed to concentrate a bit more than normal. I hope I don't lose touch with the elements!
I don't normally paint ideas or feelings, but I had to try.
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